Early Years

Donovan had self-destructive thoughts, was easily irritated, and did things on impulse not thinking through the outcome. Donovan also was suffering from PTSD because of his parents’ neglect. He did not sense a future for himself or plans for his life. It seemed there was no need to make safe choices.

He never understood what relationships were or how to interact with people. His parents gave him no hope in life whatsoever. What was the point? The only grace that saved Donovan is Rocky, a jumble of twisted hair that vaguely resembled a mixed breed street pup.

Donavon spotted this dog on the edge of town one day, shortly after his mother burned the cake. He was feeling really upset and just wandering around with a frown on his face. The frown was felt all over his body and inside too. He just could not make sense of the situation at home. It was a relief to stay at the neighbor’s house for a while until his mother came back.

The longer he walked, the more upset he became. Soon he found himself kicking a can along the road, then kicking a branch that had fallen out of a tree. One thing led to another. The pup was sniffing at a patch of grass and Donavon kicked at the dog!

“Yip, yipe, yipe,” the pup started making hurt sounds. Donavon stopped and felt so badly. He picked up the dog and said, “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

He cuddled the dog just the way he wished someone would cuddle him right now. He seemed to take on the feeling of a hurt puppy. And the pup licked his face.

“Oh, thank you for being my friend. You look like you are alone. I am going to take care of you, and I will call you Rocky, since our lives are rocky right now.”

He didn’t dare take the dog back to his neighbor’s house because they already had a dog. But he took Rocky into town and in one of his favorite alleys.

As Donovan got a little older, he was in and out of school, spending much of his time away from home. Trolling the alleyways and empty lots was a regular pastime. He knew where every great hiding place was. When the truancy officer came out to find him, he knew where to hide.

His character developed as a combination of his mother and father. Sometimes violent, sometimes quiet, and lethargic.  He became violent most of the time as he raged over encounters with classmates or neighborhood business owners.

The only way he learned to deal with frustration was to become enraged and yelling at the people involved. He thought that was being in control of his life. But life skills were non-existent to him. After the rage was over, he would get quiet and sullen, non-responsive. Rocky would sit next to him to console him.

Donavon went through several months of very deep depression and feeling worthless and undeserving of a happy life. Much of his time was spent grooming other boys and spending time together causing trouble, and disrupting the town in general. This developed into a small-town gang.

At first, the gang just ran into people, stole a few small items, and roughed up some kids. But the longer they were together, they started planning what they were going to do. Eventually they destroyed property, stole significant items, and hurt a few teachers that were trying to help them. The local sheriff became familiar with them, especially Donavon.

Donavon was still young at the time but was large and stocky for his age. So many people thought he was older. If only they knew that he was hurting inside from his family life – or lack of. He had no guidance and rebelled against anyone who showed any interest in his well-being.

Donavon truly was a troubled child, with no hope of working through his problems. He just internalized them and showed out just like he learned from his mother. If we don’t have good role models and life examples, then we don’t learn to do better.

The storekeeper and librarian both were interested in helping Donavon. They seemed to feel his pain and did what they could, said a kind word when possible and remained open to his potential.

Donavon could feel their caring nature. It warmed him like his pup, Rocky. But those feelings did not last very long until he became suspicious of their intentions.

Even though his had his buddies around, Donavon spent a lot of time by himself, roaming the back streets and alleys. He just felt better by himself. He didn’t have to worry about what other people were thinking of him or what they might do to hurt him.

  —

Joseph had traveled miles walking by himself for hours. Even though he didn’t know where he was going, he felt safe. There were no signs to indicate where he was because he traveled on secondary roads and pathways. But he could tell it felt different.

The Sun seemed to feel so warm on his face. Joseph had always felt drawn to the Sun since he could remember. If the sun could have talked to him, they would have had long conversations. The vibrations he got from it felt comforting and there was dialog going on inside his head. Joseph always talked to himself in his head, like there were two of him at the same time.

But this time, there was another voice in his head.

There was someone else talking in his head! It was a different voice than what he remembered. Different, but strangely familiar.

The voice gave Joseph the general direction to go – “Follow the morning Sun. Always follow the Sun.”

Was he talking to himself? Or was someone or something else helping him? The vague dreams about the sun seemed to be validated with this waking voice. Someone was telling him the direction to go.

It has been said that we all have a guardian angel or special guide that helps us in our lives. This is someone that cannot be seen, not a real person but you know they are there. Could this special voice be a guide? 

Joseph remembers small pieces of the past three days. His vision was blurry, but he thought he remembered seeing a fuzzy, unclear figure far ahead of him, motioning him to follow. Every time he felt confused in his direction, the figure appeared in the distance, ahead of joseph. Letting him know the way.

Looking around, Joseph finds a soft grassy spot that he could rest. The day was ending, darkness was coming on. As he puts the backpack down, he looks inside to see what was there. He opened a juice pack that Liv had given him and found a peanut butter and jelly sandwich too. He remembered her kindness. His mind wandered for a few minutes to the peanut butter and banana sandwich his mom made him the morning before the fire.

“The fire.”

His mind was all over the place: the sandwich his mom made him, the smoke, running and running, feeling lost and exhausted.

His mind was tired, his body was tired, his stomach was full now and he drifted off to sleep. His sleep was fitful and restless. But there was a vivid dream. A group of cloaked beings, with hoods covering their heads, appeared in different wooded areas helping him find his way. They pointed him in certain directions. They were always helpful. He felt comfort with them being there to help.

Then they spoke to him in the dream. For the first time he heard them say something. “When Alpha and Omega come together, you will know who we are and why you are here.”

The message did not make any sense. Even after he woke up, that part of the dream was puzzling. He did not even understand what Alpha and Omega was.